01 March 2017
Gentle, effective and practical discipline is ‘involved parenting’, ‘engaged parenting’, ‘active parenting’. In a gentle-parented home, guiding and not controlling children is the name of the game. Maintaining boundaries are necessary and using ‘discipline tools’ will help. Parents feel better prepared to deal with misbehaviour. Parents need a ‘Discipline Toolbox’ filled with useful tools encouraging positive behaviour. Just like with any toolbox, some tools are put to more use than others and your child will respond better to some discipline tools. As Parents you may use more of the tools you are comfortable with or when one tool is not working well, you can switch to a different tool. Are you consistent when applying the tool? Are you clear about the ground rules and consequences? Have you given it enough time to work? Parents cannot raise a child who is self-controlled and gentle if they are not.
Here are some common and effective tools from the discipline toolbox
Positive Attention -> Spending quality time with your child every day will prevent many behavioural issues.
Praise -> Catching your child being well-mannered can be an excellent way to highlight positive behaviour.
Pre-empt Expectations -> Pre-teaching can ensure that your child knows the ground rules and expectations.
Ignoring misbehaviour -> Ignoring attention-seeking behaviours can be effective in removing them.
Time Out -> Time out teaches kids how to calm themselves down and take them away from the scene of the misbehaviour.
Loss of Privilege -> Taking away a privilege can be used as a back-up when kids refuse to go to time out.
Logical Consequences -> Logical consequences are those that make sense and where the "punishment fits the misbehaviour."
"I may not be able to give my kids everything they want but I give them what they need. Love, time, and attention. You can't buy those things.”